Thailand Chronicles
Chronicle three — Taking care of business
I suppose I’m something of a motorcycle snob. Before we rode the Kanchanaburi circuit I was asked if I had a motorcycle. I replied in a derogatory tone that I had a rented a scooter. At home I ride a BMW F800gsa which might explain my misplaced snobbery. Nevertheless, after riding a 125cc Honda Click through Thailand’s backroads I decided that a big bike wasn’t necessary. I had no particular place to go and definitely didn’t need to get there fast.
In Thailand a “big bike” is a relative term anyway. A 300cc bike is big. A 500cc bike is a monster. There are a few Harleys running around but here as in the U.S. they mostly make a lot of noise on city streets. I was now in the market for a touring scooter if such a thing exists.
At first I asked about renting. None of the places I went to seemed all that excited about renting their bikes when I told them I was going to ride to Phuket. From Hua Hin to Phuket is a nine-hour drive if you take the main road down the peninsula. I definitely didn’t intend to ride the main road. The disappearance of their bike and me into the ether made them nervous.
I hit the dealers in downtown Hua Hin. A really nice scooter big enough to carry my fat ass will set you back about four grand and it goes up from there. I found a used 155cc Yamaha Aerox and took it for a spin. It was low mileage and seemed to run well so I began the multi-day process of withdrawing the daily limit from the ATM to pay cash. Sorry, no credit cards.
Trying to do business in Thailand is, shall we say, difficult. I tried to speak to the lady at the licensing office and she finally cut me off and said she’d wait for the lady who spoke Thai. That would be my friend’s wife. She proved invaluable in helping to license the vehicle and made sure all the paperwork was in order. I can’t thank her enough, though I don’t know that I learned much about the process. She was thorough and I just nodded my head and signed the paperwork like a good farang.
A “farang” is how the Thais refer to Caucasian foreigners. You can live in Thailand your entire life, speak Thai, and marry a Thai and you will still be farang. Some consider it an insult, I like to think of it as a term of endearment.
I digress.
I was the proud owner of a scooter. I promptly took it to a dealer and had a top box mounted. It was now the touring scooter I’d never dreamed of.
We didn’t rest on out laurels and took off for Prachuap Kiri Kuhn the next day. It was evident that in order to get there on the backroads I was going to need a GPS system. The twists and turns would be impossible without one. Another new acquaintance recommended an app for my phone called “Calimoto.” I downloaded it and tested it. It promised no straight roads. It worked perfectly.
Prachuap was breathtaking. The islands offshore are the epitome of Thai scenery. The town is pure Thai funky. The army base in the center of town is accessible to anyone. Simply write down your passport number and head on in. There are even a couple of hotels on the base with good prices. The guards will salute you as you come and go. I was tempted to ride in and out all day it being the first time in my life I was ever saluted.
A Buddhist temple topping a mountain overlooks the city and is guarded by monkeys. Some monkeys are cool. Macaques are not among some monkeys. They look like little demons because they are little demons. I climbed to the top of the mountain where the temple sits being careful not to step on a monkey’s tail. One looked up at me with the sweetest smile on its face as it attempted to look innocent. Don’t trust a monkey.
My new bike operated excellently on this test run. We returned to Hua Hin and I was satisfied I had the perfect Covid-free transport for Thailand. I was ready to ride to Phuket. I knew I would take time to stop and smell the flowers.
I had no idea how many flowers there are in Thailand.
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